kindness

I have been busy.  Chaotic with less contentment for sure.  Though my internship sites are lovely and I'm truly enjoying every minute, I don't yet completely know how to juggle all the things I want to do.

I want to run races.

I want to make music.

I want to read more.

I want to enjoy the minutes while my kids are little.

I want to knit many lovely things.

I want to be more kind

and more present.

Most of all, I want to figure out how to do all these things without feeling guilty that I hadn't chosen differently in the moment.  I want to play with my kids, and not feel shame for not running.  I want to read a book and not feel guilty for having salad and PB&J's for dinner.  I want to experience freedom in enjoying my work and not criticize myself for being away from the family.  I want to love my partner and not look jealously at the 30 sweaters my knitting friends pump out every year.  

So my word for this year - my oneword365.com is kindness.  

I shall be kind to myself as I try to juggle and fail, when I can't put away the guilt I will smother it with self kindness.  Because while my life can be chaotic, I need to remember that I am blessed beyond compare, and that is enough to be content.  

I want to enjoy this year, and with great kindness (and a good calendar app), I believe I will.